The Reluctant Fathers’ Club by Nick Duerden
Nick Deurden is in his mid-thirties and has been with his girlfriend for eleven years when she decides she wants a baby. Duerden, who doesn’t, goes along with the plan for the sake of not starting a fight, but is completely unprepared for the whole process.
Nine difficult and annoying months later, his daughter is born; a daughter with whom he feels almost no connection; a child he resents for the change it has wrought in his heretofore peaceable life.
This was an interesting book. Duerden himself points out that he didn’t experience anything more severe than many men. The feeling of unpreparedness; the twin resentments of having to spend so much time looking after a child while at the same time having everyone from ones partner to society at large assume that as a man you’ll mess it up; the fact that it’s hard to relate to someone before they can express emotion verbally or visually despite all of the movies and tv shows telling you otherwise… Duerden is not writing about an extraordinary situation, rather an everyday one that too few people have explored in detail.
Probably not of interest to the layperson, but I know a lot of people who have had or are having kids, and the men involved could do worse than reading this…